listening

Listening might be interpreted as hearing information, but listening skills come down to retention and understanding of the information that is being shared with you. That information can be shared over a phone call, video call, presentation, email, or text chat. In a world of remote work, listening skills are more important than ever. With more phone calls and video calls than in-person interactions, that means you cannot always rely on in-person non-verbal queues for information gathering. You have to strengthen your listening skills to be a better manager, leader, and team player.

The skill of listening is the ability to receive and retain information that is being communicated. It requires giving attention to the communicator and demonstrating an understanding of the material that is presented. 

Having strong listening skills benefits you and your ability to retain information. These skills also benefit the people you are working with. When others try to share information with you, your listening skills demonstrate to them that you are taking time to understand them, trying to comprehend the information they are sharing, and demonstrating a willingness to collaborate or work together. 

When you work with someone who is a bad listener – they never appear to be listening to you, they interrupt you, and they do not try to understand what you’re saying to them. It’s frustrating for you, and you lose respect for them. It becomes nearly impossible to work with or for someone like this. You might even have someone in mind who represents these traits of being a “bad listener.” 

When you’re leading a team or working with others, you have to practice strong listening skills. There are many layers and levels to effective communication, but there are a few easy ways to become a better listener. These can be applied in settings from large meetings to one-on-one conversations. 

Consider how you retain information and apply that to listening

Everyone learns and remembers information differently. If you’re not great at retaining information that is spoken to you, find a method that works for you and apply it to listening. 

• Take notes on your laptop, and keep them organized to be searchable later
• Take notes with a pen and paper, and the physical act of writing can help you retain information
• Keep meeting recordings, and you can listen to them again later if needed

Personally, I retain information best when it is written, so I take a lot of typed notes during meetings that I can reference in the moment or afterward. If I have a very busy day of meetings, meeting recordings with the transcribe feature help me revisit information, and I can skim the transcription for information. Even if I have a quick in-person conversation, I will take notes on my phone afterward. This helps me recollect the information later.

Practice showing that you are listening (in a way that makes sense for you)

Parts of “active listening” include both verbal and non-verbal actions you can take to show someone that you are listening. This includes maintaining eye contact, avoiding distracting movements (including looking at your phone during a conversation!), head nodding, and short verbal affirmations that indicate that you are present in the conversation. 

However, don’t overdo it. If you are nodding, and saying positive statements such as “yes” while someone is speaking, you might be indicating agreement inadvertently. This can be extremely confusing for who you are speaking to if you do not agree with them. Try a neutral statement such as “OK” or “I hear you” if you feel the need to give a verbal queue that you are paying attention. 

If this concept is completely new for you, you might have to experiment and see what works best for you and your style of communication. If, for example, nodding feels awkward, there may be another way you can show someone you are listening, like a verbal cue.

Be genuinely curious and aim for clarity

Understanding the information that is being communicated to you is the cornerstone of listening. You have to make sure you’re receiving information as accurately as possible for your own personal understanding. As individualized as information retention is, so is the method you use to get the information you need. The best way to approach this is to be genuinely curious. When you are curious in the topic, you will be listening with the intention of gaining clarity.

When you are listening to someone deliver information to you with genuine curiosity, you should:

• Ask clarifying questions. If you are intent and sincere on understanding the information that is being presented to you, you should feel comfortable asking questions. If you can’t think of questions in the moment, tell them you will get back to them to give yourself a chance to think.
• Restate for mutual understanding. You can restate using the words they used, or you can rephrase using your words. Use examples to illustrate your understanding of what is being said, and confirm if the examples are correct. Giving use cases or examples is a tactic I use most often, because it can put concepts into realistic terms for everyone.

With these tips, you can improve how you retain information, how you show that you are listening, and how you approach conversations and meetings to get the information you need. LMK if you have any other ideas for how to be a better listener!